1. Apply to be his Girlfriend/New Mom Now!

    Submitted by L:

    My Self-Summary

    I’m looking for a woman to take me out to nice places and generally show me a good time.

    I have a good relationship with my mother and great taste in shoes.

    About you: you’ll be 18 - 35 years old, physically fit and attractive,
    and confident enough to have your own life without a boyfriend who tells you how wonderful you are every 19 minutes.

    Please do not expect me to call you every day, buy you flowers,
    or generally do nice things that guys, “are supposed to do.” It’s just not me.

    I don’t mind what height, hair colour or skin colour you are,
    but I do ask that you are slim to average. Preferably with gym membership…That you actually use…More than once every 6 months.

    Please write me why I should meet you. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

    P.S. Don’t contact me if you are sexually repressed or have issues with men.

    OKCKM’s response: I’d ask that your penis be at least half the size of your inflated ego(because if your personality is going to be this awful, I might as well get a good fuck out of it), that you allow me to pummel your face in with your own pathetic, misogynistic bullshit as a weapon afterwards, oh, and that you never, ever contact me. Please.