This is what we have to look forward to?
The tales of being a cognizant female on OKCupid.
Submitted by M.
(Source: okcupidkillme)
My fair lass, perchance that I may help procure libations some evening? Methinks, excuse the candor, we may have some things in common.
(Source: okcupidkillme)
“With a simple hello, by an unwitting fellow
the conversation begins
Commencing with titles, the word smith does idle
deciding his words with care
Shakespeare he’s called, but not the true bard at all
or a sonnet would surely be here
A compliment to her hair and style, comes with a smile
as he asks how she is this day.”
Submitted by A.
“The rain is because you’ve been cracking too many people up. When you laugh so hard you cry special tears, which produce rain.”
Submitted by I.
Transcendentally beautiful, and inscrutably alluring.
Pursuit of your heart maybe quixotically romantic but if I succeed I’ll be puritanically and fervently committed to coming to your good books
(Coming to my good books? Do I want to know what that means?)
Submitted by P.
I see thou art a Shakespeare fan. I hath been that since age 8. I hope thou likest my use of his language and I would also like to ask which film version of Romeo and Juliet is thy favorite? I see thou likest chick flicks and I hath no problem with that, though I do have a stronger obsession with Hamlet. What reality doth thou enjoy? I hope to hear from thee soon.
Submitted by K.
My self-summary
I am the triangulation of Vinayan wanderlust , Khan-esque battlehunger and virility, and a culinary acumen that rivals the minimalist-yet-succulent machinations of Mark Bitteman. I enjoy carnivorism , animal activism, snowboarding , and salting the earth. I can also cook minute rice in 20 seconds.
you dye your hair, but i don’t care.
if your tits are fake, i’m unaware.
i just love the way you shake in your underwear
i really wanna see what you got under there.
and i’m unprepared to let you pass me by
let a few good ones go, hurt the worst the last time
i can’t keep you off my crass mind,
i really mean it, but don’t ask why.
Submitted by F.
Hola Bella,
You are utterly captivating, enticingly alluring, and devastatingly sexy. If there is a beauty within you that should even compare to such loveliness, then anyone would be very fortunate to know you.
It is no chore to see how perfectly you would fit within my embrace, neither to imagine it perfectly difficult to behave were I ever so fortunate to find you there.
Intrigued,
Jack
Submitted by M.