Q: Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity?
A: Yes
Explanation: “That’s right. I’d be Cool Dad.”
(Source: okcupidkillme)
Submitted by M.
A main profile pic for some chick. Submitted by G.
Cool Dad.
this is a 42 year old man hitton on a 24 year old woman, and these are his three main pictures.
nothing’s better than nip pix.
Submitted by G.
From his profile:
“Don’t add me if you are not going to chat its a waste of time or if you are already speaking to 10 other guys…”
Submitted by M.
(Source: okcupidkillme)
Full-Scale Analysis of A Loser
Got this gem from a dude who said he lives with his parents, doesn’t have a driver’s license (at 19?!), wants to be a professional WWE wrestler, and every single one of his pictures are with a different girl every time.
Hi my name is Mike i’m 19 from ****** I am on here looking for a woman who wants to be intimate have a sexual relationship and maybe even an actual dating relationship but i’m most importantly looking for a woman who wants to take my virginity
To which I replied, “You’re not gonna get it that way.”
He responded with
I want sex now lol. and i’m not trying to sound greedy and rude and stuff thats what i want
Hoo boy. I went to look at his profile and his first three things are
1. computer I need my computer so I can go onto dating sites like this one to talk to women so I can try to find someone to take my virginity
2. sex even though I haven’t had sex before I really want to experience it and without sex none of us would be here right now so yeah lol
3. women
I would almost feel sorry for the kid if he weren’t such a dumbass.
Submitted by B.
Not a message, just a ridiculously obnoxious profile.
jessica|eight-teen|senior ‘11|
i’m not perfect. i’m like 82% gay. i’m a MAJOR hypocrit. i’m teaching myself german Und ich bin immer besser, aber ich bin immer noch wirklich dumm. i’m pretty much a big kid ;] but most of the time i wish that i could go back i prefered broken crayons over broken hearts.. i tend to think of myself as one fruitloop in a bowl of cherrios :D.. If i ever see a plane go by i watch to see if it crashes just go i can be a witness.. ummm im a mojor daydreamer and i love almost all things artsy, although i still havent conquered knitting. I have major crush on Shin from Cinema Bizarre, andy sixx from Black Veil Brides, Hayley Williams from Paramore, and LedaMonsterBunny(google her she is so friggin beautiful)!.. i’m majorly attracted to almost anybody with a singing/screaming voice, and im a major sucker for facial piercings.. i HATE when people shorten words when the are texting me or messaging me, its probably not prolly, and it wont kill you to add 2 letteres to a word, its why not y.. its are not r and its you not u…. I dont really know what else to say so if you wanna know anyting just ask :)
IF YOU’RE OLDER THEN 22 DONT TALK TO ME
There are so many things wrong with this profile besides the obvious spelling and grammar issues. What does 82% gay even mean? Are you explaining you’re not perfect because you’re 82% gay? That’s actually offensive to yourself.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food i love fantasy and sci-fi movies and books, and all of Ellen Hopkins books.. i think the whole trials of a drug addict thing is interesting i like drug books they are interesting…
i like all types of music except maybe gospel. i like hardcore, techno, electronic, and metal the best though. black beil brides=my fave band<3
I’m a veggie, which is my and my friends term for vegetarians i dont eat the innocent little animals anymore i dont care if you do though thats your own choice.
Remember, it’s “i HATE when people shorten words when the are texting me or messaging me… it wont kill you to add 2 letteres to a word” but feel free to call yourself a veggie if you’d like. Veggie as in brain-dead.
Submitted by A.
So you eat meat, have a cat, and read thesauruses?
My self-summary
I am the triangulation of Vinayan wanderlust , Khan-esque battlehunger and virility, and a culinary acumen that rivals the minimalist-yet-succulent machinations of Mark Bitteman. I enjoy carnivorism , animal activism, snowboarding , and salting the earth. I can also cook minute rice in 20 seconds.
The Self-Summary of someone whose entire being is made up of clichés
I believe everything happens for a reason. People change that you can learn how to let go. Things go wrong, so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes a good thing falls apart so better things can fall together. A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night, a true man romances the same girl the rest of his life. Every girl thinks she can change a player, but the truth is, it’s not the player that needs to change, it’s the guy. Every player is on a mission to find that one girl that makes him lose his desire to play
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: If you arent being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change.. Ditch his sorry ass and find somebody that will treat you with utter RESPECT.
One day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. Chilvary is not dead, keep that in mind.
Don’t ever tell me you regret something… You wouldnt be who you are today without those things happening, and everything DOES happen for a reason. Dont take shit from anybody and never be affraid to put them in their place. Dont disrespect anybody unless they disrespect you.
You poke me with a twig, I’ll shove a tree up your ass… keep that in mind. .. You got enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something in your life.
Believe only half of what you see and hear but trust everything you feel. You always have the best answers to your questions, go within.
Don’t ever go out side of yourself for validation, love or answers. That way, nothing can ever be taken away from you..
If something is not fun, Don’t do it.
Trust yourself, Love yourself, but always Respect others in the process.
If you don’t get what you want, it’s a sign either that you did not seriously want it, or that you tried to bargain over the price.
I kept six honest serving men. They taught me all I knew. Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who.
God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
Submitted by K.
Preggers
Profile:
Well, honestly, I made this account to get to know women of a certain type. I know this is really weird, and I know that you probably find it disgusting, but I am into bellies; flat ones, round ones, ones that look pregnant, ones that ARE pregnant…
Basically, I made this to satisfy my own desires to get to know both (female) belly enthusiasts, and pregnant women. If you just want to chat about it, that’s great (I’m not out for pictures; they of course would be nice :D BUT I’m not going to pester you for them!). Are you pregnant and having trouble getting guys to even talk to you? Well, I can’t do any kind of relationship, but I can be your internet buddy :) We can chat about whatever you’d like, as deep or as superficial, as intimate or as clean as you want!
I don’t actually live in Springfield Mass (I live SORT OF near it, kind of). I don’t ever want or expect to meet you in person, and I’m not looking for one night stands or anything. All I am looking for is to chat fairly specifically about how it is while progressing through a pregnancy, or you liking bellies/your belly (no matter the shape or size). I will answer questions about my weirdness if you’d like to ask, but any angryness will be ignored ;)
Kind of admitted it above - I like female bellies, of pretty much any shape and size :) It could be rock hard toned, smooth and thin, love handle-y, thick, round, stuffed, bloated, squishy, concave, convex, pregnant, tummys of all kinds :)
I of course like all the other parts as well ;)
Kind of admitted it above - I like female bellies, of pretty much any shape and size :) It could be rock hard toned, smooth and thin, love handle-y, thick, round, stuffed, bloated, squishy, concave, convex, pregnant, tummys of all kinds :) I of course like all the other parts as well ;) Kind of admitted it above - I like female bellies, of pretty much any shape and size :) It could be rock hard toned, smooth and thin, love handle-y, thick, round, stuffed, bloated, squishy, concave, convex, pregnant, tummys of all kinds :) I of course like all the other parts as well ;)