So I was thinking about how we are never going to speak to each other.
So I was thinking, we are clearly the two best looking people on this site and we should take advantage of it. What do you say we go to Vegas and get married then make a happy family of perfectly aesthetic children that are so awe striking they make world rulers drop to their knees and beg to pay us huge sums of money for the genetic code. Then we can live happily ever after, throwing money in the trash and partying like Charlie Sheen. As you can see I have this whole thing planned out so all you have to do after you pop out some kids is sit by the pool, drink margaritas, and get oiled up by hot pool boys all day while I conduct business. I already have the wedding booked for the Elvis Wedding Chapel on the strip so I’m really banking on you to say yes to this or I’m going to have to just find a stripper and I don’t think the plan will turn out as well.
Submission and the exact same letter was received by an OKCKM editor. Classy.
(Source: okcupidkillme)
Hi
How are you? Hope you had a great Weekend. Actually this is second message, I’m really sorry to bother you again,I don’t want to be pushy, I know it is hard to get a reply to every message. You are really beautiful and passionate person, So I thought I should give as second try maybe it makes you think a little, so want to ask would you like to be my friend or have conversation to know each other, in spite of low chances because you must be getting lots of emails a day, and their is only 1% chance, but still I have a strong hope for yes, I will respect your decision,whatever it will be, but I will be glad to see your reply, hope it’s not NO.
Have a great day
Take care
The Greatest Message in the History of Messages (his title, not mine)
I wake up in about 6 hours and desperately need sleep. I saw your profile last night and have wanted to message you since. I’m pretty sure I can’t wait another night. So, here we are.
I’m convinced you’re a female version of me. Or I’m a male version of you. Not that I’m calling you a tall, lanky, Saudi Arabian guy. I’m actually Indian, so I’m calling you that.
You have tremendous looking nostrils. Your earlobes are magnificent as well. I know that sounds creepy, but I’m probably not half as bad as the other guys on here. Which still makes me a massive creeper.
There is this heater right next to me. It’s comforting as hell to feel the warm air. It’s not the sun or anything, but then again, it doesn’t blind me when I stare directly at it.
I know virtually nothing about you, but I think we’d get on famously. I’ve been told that my name is____. What have people been telling you?
Submitted by L.