1. Call me Ms. Burton if you’re nasty…

    I had mentioned that I was pretty good at classic rock trivia in my profile, and she just starts riffing on it in her intro message…

    Submitted by T.

    (Source: okcupidkillme)

  2. image: download

    This is why I “love” OKcupid.
Submitted by L.

    This is why I “love” OKcupid.

    Submitted by L.

  3. What a romantic, II

    Hey, did you know they’re actually paying for sperm donors now? What the hell, right? Had I known I wouldn’t have wasted all my sperm masturbating to your pictures. When we get dinner, you pick up the tab.

    Submitted by M.

    (Source: okcupidkillme)

  4. I think I’ll look for a wife on OkCupid today!

    hey whats up? my name’s *****. first and foremost, i am not very good with introductions. however, one thing i am good at is being honest and speaking from the heart. with that being said, i wanted to tell you that you were one of the most beautiful girls ive seen on this site. the fact that a girl as beautiful as you is on here blows my mind. i guarantee you that if your personality is as beautiful as your looks then any guy in his right mind would be lucky to have you. i’ll be the first to admit that i am old fashioned. i was brought up looking to earn a girl’s trust or put a smile on her face rather than have sex with her so just know in your heart thats not the reason why im messaging you. being old fashioned causes me to be unique in today’s world and that’s something i enjoy. i know the chances of you replying to this message isn’t very good but if you do then you will not find a better guy to hold a conversation with. if you choose not to reply then that’s fine…no hard feelings. hopefully i’ll hear back from you soon. take care and good luck on this site

    Submitted by L.

  5. I have NOTHING in my profile, no pictures, no essays. NADA!

    1. Him: 650 *** **49
    2. Me: is this a real thing right now?
    3. Him: in pacifica waiting 650 *** **49
    4. Me: what the fuck? waiting for what?
    5. Him: whats this real thing right now
    6. Him: wanted get laid up for it
    7. Submitted by M.
  6. Sorry, I’m not interested in your you

    konichiwa babe! Are you looking for the best boyfriend that ever lived? If so, look no further. You found him. I’m a 37-year-old professional independent contractor. That’s right! I graduated from THE Ohio State University, and joined the Marines at the ripe, tender age of 22. After finishing my enlistment I became a Cop. Why? Because chicks dig Cops. Anyway, so I landed this job with a company providing support to the US Government in Afghanistan and Iraq. I’ve been all over both countries for the past 3 years – my dating life has suffered.

    I turn off lights. I clean toilets. I even put down the toilet seat. How many of your boyfriends do that? None – Right! Or you wouldn’t be here. I’ll even cook for you. That’s right!

    Do you like movies? I love them. A lot of people ask me, “Hey, you’re from America. Are you racist?” And, the answer to that question is, no. I’m not racist or judgmental at all. Am I interested in your you? You bet I am! I’m taking being a boyfriend to the next level. Email me! I’ll hook you up with background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies. If you want a next-generation boyfriend who consistently blows your mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I’m ready to take you out.

    Submitted by G.