June 2012
53 posts
5 tags
“Wow, you are hot and sexy! wait! is that you who gave me a hard on just now? :P...”
– WAIT! Submission.
6 tags
6 tags
“I’m 5’6, have a low paying job and don’t drive. Also still a...”
– Submission.
May 2012
66 posts
6 tags
“Dickbreath. You’re better than me at nothing except bleeding from your...”
– Submission.
6 tags
Yes, that IS my real clown hair.
my name is [redacted] nice to meet you……well in case your wondering that is my real hair and clown school requires hair in the length of 5 inches and 3/4 so hence the hair and as of now my hair is currently short (deep sigh) in your honest opinion what looks better. on a serious note i would like to get to know u better and i love texting it covers so much ground in little time im...
8 tags
Would you like to be with a man who really knows...
Would you like to be with a man who really knows what to do, who’s really there for you when you want him and yet knows how to give you the space you need. A man who is balanced in his emotions and physical needs and respects your dreams, passions and changing rythms. Can you recall a time when you might imagine the perfect love, someone who can touch you so deeply that just by the sound of...
5 tags
I'll take one baby with you, please.
Polar opposites. How is that possible? Could it be a mistake? I almost expect the “white picket fence and 2.3 kids” to be a sarcastic remark.” They say, “Shake what your momma gave ya.” What happened to: I love you. Will you marry me? Will you be the mother of my children? I look forward to our 100th Anniversary. When did these happen: I got this @#$%^ knocked up. Now what? A baby’s...
6 tags
“honestly I am simply looking for respectful casual sex, friendship, and...”
– Submitted by C.
6 tags
Sound familiar?
after a rigorously brief overview of your profile, i wanted to let you know i have already married and divorced you in my mind. thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories… you will always have a special place in my heart. your ex-husband, - a***** p.s. you can keep the beach house in florida as long as i can have the dog and my dvd’s back.
Submitted by G.
5 tags
“I give good head, but i’m always choking on the afterbirth.
-awkward...”
– Submission.
7 tags
You can't understand me. [I am uncomfortable.]
“Hi, how are you. I am researcher in [redacted] University and new in USA. I need girlfriend here. I can’t speak English very well and I can’t understand very well. Do not be afraid, I am only not well. You looks very beautiful and I’d like to meet you a lot. Everybody likes me in my Country. I am a romance; like beautiful flowers; going to movie with you; sightseeing together New York, museums...
5 tags
6 tags
5 tags
“hi im [redacted] how are you, i love tacos (if its a plus), but seriously i like...”
– Submission.
5 tags
You can even count this as a date, if you want.
Him: Truth or dare
Me: truth
Him: What r u wearing
Me: clothes.
Me: well that was fun.
Submission.
5 tags
...
Him: i am a patagonian, you are a beauty... say your 'lust is weakness'... I will satisfy it and more. Get drinks with me and I will make you smile as you provoke the enamoration inside me... beauty is fleeting, yet you seem to have it in a perverse stranglehold. I will make you laugh and smile and you will gaze at me with wonderment, thinking;where has this man been all my life... Just a shot in the dark; this message, if it finds you. I promise satisfaction and an affirmation of your existence; myself being only a reduplication of a man, albeit one who will validate your breath, make your longing legitimate... the choice is yours. And yet, none shall worry or despair upon your choice of silence and ignorance. I am but a lustful man, a feral being, seeking only beauty and understanding... Your eyes, your lips, your body... could it save me?? Only time and will can decide
Me: thy beams so reverend, and strong why shouldst thou think ? i could eclipse and cloud them with a wink, but that i would not lose her sight so long." pitiful creature you are, sir. pitiful indeed. are you attempting to woo with such words of indignant repugnance? oh, my dear sir, do not linger here. wanton lustful proposals are not to be indulged; for we all know beauty shall never last - "but at my back i always hear time's winged chariot hurrying near; and yonder all before us lie deserts of vast eternity." in truth, my existence need not be affirmed; rather worshiped truthfully. satisfaction? my dear boy, you cannot appease me. if i were to settle for less, such as yourself, beauty would be forgotten; foolishness would succeed. oh, no, i don't want to play with such trifles. need i elaborate for you, are you in need of a more feasible response? oh, poor child you are. had i not been forced into such revolt, by such sentiments of concupiscence, i would have enjoyed a proper discussion. scuttle off, the children are beckoning.
Him: haha, awesome!
7 tags
Tell me more about your past failed relationships...
I am fun and outgoing. I like being around calm laid back people. I am looking for two things one is friends and a man I can connect with, I haven’t had that in a long time and I tired of settling for less I do because I am a really nice person and if I think a guy is nice I must keep well this is not the case anymore when I say connect I mean mentally physically and have things in common...
9 tags
I have never had sex with an Asian!!
I have never had sex with an Asian!! Your cute so HMU if Ur down I’m not a weirdo just a normal dude from la lol
Submitted by L.
5 tags
“I like everything I read…we’d have oodles and doodles of fun...”
– Submission.
7 tags
So I was thinking about how we are never going to...
So I was thinking, we are clearly the two best looking people on this site and we should take advantage of it. What do you say we go to Vegas and get married then make a happy family of perfectly aesthetic children that are so awe striking they make world rulers drop to their knees and beg to pay us huge sums of money for the genetic code. Then we can live happily ever after, throwing money in the...