April 2010
47 posts
5 tags
Oh my god.
(No subject)
Mar. 31, 2010 11:48pm
hey if I go to New York in the near future, will you show me around for a day? The city is really scary and there are a lot of people that have eyes, eyes for watching.
6 tags
I don't know what a 'douche snorkel' is, but I'll...
My Self-Summary:
I f you are LAME, a DOUCHE SNORKEL or BORING don’t bother talking to me but if you are FUN, DORKY and ADVENTUROUS let’s be BFFN’S (best friends for now) Dorky Girls. I don’t know why I like dorky girls but I do. I love all women, but I just keep going back to dorky girls. I guess I am just looking for someone to… TaLk NeRdy tO Me :)
March 2010
103 posts
5 tags
4 tags
1 tag
Show us your shame.
We’re eager to shake our heads in disapproval - send us your best OKCupid messages, IMs, and profiles via OKCKM submission.
4 tags
We can off ourselves together.
My Self-Summary
I don’t expect much of you because I rarely expect much of myself. I’m not depressed, I just choose not to try to live a fulfilling life. I don’t want children because I don’t believe in bringing someone into this messed up world we call home. I even don’t want to be here, but I have no choice. I need someone to tell me what to do, where to go,...
9 tags
The wonders of glass eggs...
Submitted by Anonymous:
Subject: Hmm, somethin a lil different…
Good Morning MsEyes, How are you? I know this is a bit unconventional as an icebreaker, and please forgive me if this is not your scene at all, but do you enjoy playing with unusual and exotic yet deliciously tactile items? I have a suggestion you might find arousing…would you like to hear - even if its only to smile at...
6 tags
The Fever.
Submitted by S:
**********: if i admit that i have the asian fever and am still in love with my ex gf, does that rule me out completely?
5 tags
He's Multi-faceted.
I’m really good at:
football, weightlifting, running
The first things people usually notice about me:
i live in the weight room.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food:
the longest yard, junction boys(the book), Friday night lights.
The six things I could never do without:
football, hunting, fishing
4 tags
My Self-Summary
I know what I compete for your gaze with. Quasars, freaks of nature, reconstructions & sand. I want my daisy-chain of lowly dandelions I put on your crown back. I want the raindrop that fell through my crown chakra at the exact moment when you affirmed it’s true irrelevantly to my thoughts though I was present, the most present one present in fact, and to someone...
4 tags
3 tags
You are a unique snowflake.
(No subject)
Mar. 25, 2010 – 5:50am
hey there, you seem fun, down to earth and cool. Thought I’d shoot over a message. You have some good interests, we should grab a drink sometime. I’m always up for meeting good, new people.
—-
I fully accept that I am probably a bitch for denouncing this dude publicly, but you can’t honestly expect someone with half a personality to...
4 tags
Stating the Obvious.
You should message me if
If you’re laid back and dont like to cause drama, and if you’re pretty
…Really? Because most people kind of go for the uptight, ugly, drama-mongers.
3 tags
Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you Fell From...
Fun*********:Hey there good lookin’, what are you up to?
3 tags
3 tags
5 tags
O RLY.
Submitted by Z:
Missed Instant Message:
3*****: u look liek u can use some good spanking
5 tags
The beauty of angels cannot compare to your...
Submitted by L:
Mar. 21, 2010 – 12:34pm
Hello, My name is Brandon. I want to tell you that I think your angelic beauty is absolutely captivating. You seem like your personality is just as beautiful. I have many talents, I can cum over and over again right after another. I have many techniques that I can teach you. I also have been learning some techniques about stimulating the g spot to a...
5 tags
4 tags
wow wow wow
wow
Mar. 20, 2010 – 2:02am
Hi sorry for disturbing but i just was passing on your profile.and i saw your photos,you know,i couldnt go without a message. i wanted to say hello to you you have got so different style.i think this charm from in a fairy tale.Or you must be from family of kings.Like a princess.In my opinion,every man must call you as my lady.did you see your hair,or skin,or...
5 tags
4 tags
4 tags
4 tags
5 tags
3 tags
4 tags
3 tags
4 tags
3 tags
3 tags
4 tags
Interesting approach.
J*********:You look kind of like an artsy perv, if I wasn’t gay and didn’t have a girlfriend, you’d so be mine
5 tags
He's a man. A 4-hour man, to be exact.
My Self-Summary
I’m not going to write an essay… i know what im about and who i am. Connections start with a physical attraction anyway, so if you think im good for it, then maybe i’ll tell you my life story lmao, also wonder if women really care how much of these boxes i filled out? llmao. I’d like to add, that if your an older women, and you deny me because of my age....
4 tags
You've got that right.
(No subject)
Mar. 17, 2010 – 9:23pm
Hello I just wanted to say hello because I stopped by your page. You seem pretty incredible. Like may I come over and worship at your feet incredible. I hope my saying so isn’t too forward but you are also ridiculously attractive as well. Excuse my not going into detail on that just now, but I am sure this is creeper enough.
3 tags
Somebody does too many of the bad kinds of drugs.
(No subject)
Mar. 17, 2010 – 8:09pm
You seem and read very chill and not too Living out loudish. I a Scorsese film that is slowly becoming a Cohen film. Very relaxed and likes to watch humans play with themselves.
4 tags
3 tags
“My Self-Summary
These are just a few things you should know about me. My tears...”
– You sound a lot like Chuck Norris.
1 tag
The Month That Made Me Hate Myself: Day 5 →
My favorite books, movies, music, and food: I like reading almost everything, I just finished Crime and Punishment and A History of Cheese. What I hope you read: Pretty smart guy, cultured, his genes will make my children special. What you probably read: Pretentious snob, and who the hell…
If you’re not satiated with the OKCKM style of OkCupid nightmares, please follow MonthOfHate, as...
5 tags
It's the biz!
Submitted by a different T. Congratulations, you’ve added a new tag to our repertoire:
What I’m doing with my life
RIGHT NOW I’M RUNNING THE FAMILY BUSINESS, WE DO COLLISION REPAIR.
The six things I could never do without
SEX, CARS, BLOWJOBS (FOR GUYS AND GIRLS), CAR CRASHES (ITS THE BIZ), WOMEN, COLOGNE, GUYS (FAVE FOOD… (HAHAHA))
5 tags
Straight men can make friends with each other.
Submitted by T:
(7:40:44 pm)B****C***:sup?
(7:57:16 pm)B****C***:I like your profile
(7:57:50 pm)B****C***:I think you missed a “blank” when you switched to ____s
(7:58:14 pm)B****C***:but I am so often wrong
(8:14:27 pm)m***p***:uh. i don’t know what you mean.
(8:15:01 pm)B****C***:your about me section is full of _____s
...
4 tags
Needs a Little Hershey Syrup.
h****:hello white girl
h****:your skin is as white as milk
h****:aren’t i great at flattering?
B:-_-
h****:i love you too
7 tags
Honesty is the best policy, reason #7282
Submitted by T:
The first things people usually notice about me
when u first meet me u will think i am crazy or looney but that is just me
5 tags
You obviously have nothing to say.
Submitted by I:
The first three messages were sent Feb 24.
Um… hey. So, how’s it going?
By the way, are you doing your masters on?
what* are you doing your masters on. Oops.
Then a week later he decided to send this:
mmmmm….. ok I’m just going to finish this conversation myself. Oh really? Oh that’s cool. Haha, yeah, I know seriously. Pssh, well no not really,...
2 tags
I feel like this is a code for something really...
Subject line: your really cute
M******: I came across your profile and was wondering if you would accept an engagement of witty banter between two intellectuals. Of course this “engagement” may start off as purely platonic but my sensual desires will most likely guide our cohesive unity down more erotic, lascivious, and sexual paths that will include but are not limited to rump...
4 tags
Please don't.
I’m really good at
Licking your you know what.
3 tags
Internet manners.
(4:27:02 am)r****:you’re up late
(4:27:15 am)r****:lame intro line
(4:27:21 am)r****:but I’m too tired to be clever
(4:27:22 am)r****:sorry
(4:28:54 am)r****:ok, well for the record, I think it’s more polite to say you’re not interested than to just ignore someone. At least I strongly prefer the former.
(4:29:56 am)r****:good night anyways
4 tags
I'm afraid I don't quite ..
You should message me if
The idea of spending a day in a surreal realm of color, hugs, and confusion with a side of spontaneity, and just a hint of euphoria does not appall you.
5 tags
6 tags
These could be your new best friends.
Submitted by T:
I’m really good at
Treating women like the irrational herd animals they are. That’s not fair. Treating people like the irrational herd animals they are.
4 tags
I suppose so.
C**************: is it possible to be extremely relaxed but at the same time over analyze everything?
E*******: probably.
E*******: i'd say so.
C**************: seems like a paradox
C**************: im a bit too drunk for paradoxes