Come on, kids. Share the shame.
Submit your best OkCupid messages, profiles, or general disastrous encounters.
This is not just for the ladies! If you’re a dude who is being brutally stalked on OKC or has a chick on his tail, please let us watch.
Nov. 25, 2010 – 12:39am Big_E_88: hi, would you like to help me cum right now? i would be very thankful. :)
Clicked on his profile because I am a moron.
This struck me in the Why You Should Get to Know Me: “you want a handsome GOOD guy that is an old fashioned gentleman that would do the little things like open doors and get flowers for not reason i also like…… so its your decision. ;)”
(grammatical errors his)
And apprently message girls in a different hemisphere, not to get to know them or find them interesting or anything. No, to give the gift of his THANKS for helping him whack off. Seriously honored dude, because nothing makes me happier as a lady than being treated like free personalised porn.
Submitted by W.
I sit in awl as I attempt to comprehend all that I discovered while reading your profile. Dazed by shear content. Offended and turned on at the same time. To gag from the odor of it all and still intrigued. Of book length and I continued to read on, it was like starring at a fatal crash along the highway. A half shaved man stunned by the boldness of it all. Is it just lust or true love?
R**
Submitted by A.
Just thought I’d say hey to a fellow disliker of authority and loather of woodwinds (even saxes though?).
I should also like to point out that your user name is an anagram for ““I let him ses.” I’m not sure what it means but it sounds permissive.
Dose Your hair always look great Taco Master?
Just FYI, you popped up in my “quiver” on OKC, their new suggestion system; since apparently you’re not looking for guys, I guess either you might want to set yourself into the “girls looking for girls” category, or figure some other way to nix that…
Incidentally, my fiancée might well fit your category crafty quirky girls. And her hair is longer than yours — knee-length. She’s “” on OKC; her account is linked at the bottom of my profile.
Cheers,
“Name of Creepy Dude With Creepier Girlfriend Withheld”
Submitted by R.
at a local Starbucks in PA? Check out my profile and if you like lets meet this week and see? (name and phone number removed - yes, he included his phone number).
Playing guitar in a Starbucks? Ooh, apparently I’m to swoon by that alone (putting the side the whole ‘70% match’ number). Plus his favorite movie is Forrest Gump - you couldn’t make this stuff up, could you.
Submitted by R.
My favorite books, movies, music, and foodi dont read cuz to me its a waist of time, favorite movies are step brothers, young guns and we were soldiers, favorite band lynrd skynrd and anything country, food would have to be chip beef gravy nd pancakes, sausauge gravy nd biscuits
Submitted by M.
profile = 5 stars
personality = 5 stars
pictures = 5 stars
wanting to get to know you = priceless
lol ok a little cheap but I like the way u appear from this and I hope
we can chat and get to know each other cause I think it would be a
great time
- **** 8)
Submitted by K.
Wink
Nov. 5, 2010 – 11:32pmWith your blue hair I remembered japs comics I read when I was a child…
Submitted by T.
After not replying to the initial creepy message (which I thoughtlessly deleted) I recieved the following lovely message from a man almost twice my age:
Ah, I knew it! You didn’t get back to me because you really ARE a 50 year old man writing to me from his basement! Just my luck.
It’s not like there could be some other reason you haven’t written back that I can think of. But that’s no reason to be rude, right? Even if you’re too afraid to answer my first email, you can still write back and tell me about your basement lair. What’s it like?
Submitted by B.
(No subject)
Nov. 18, 2010 – 9:33pmhey I am a single and hate cheaters and liars. i am 21 my names chad i had enough of them in the past that i don’t need any of that crap anymore so I look for someone who is honest, funny, somewhat romantic, kind, loves sports, and beautiful as u
Submitted by L.
Hi, OKCupid quivered me with you
Hi,
My name is ***** and it is a pleasure to meet you. Even though I am
jewish I am a student at [redacted].
I am a 21 year old college student who is honest and sincere. I am
very shy and non talkative when we first would meet. It takes me time
to get use to new people. I am open and honest. I am in shape, I am 6’
tall and weigh 135 pounds. I have high goals and plans for my life. I
love kids and pets. Anything you want to know please ask. I am very
straight laced. I do not smoke, drink or do drugs.
To show you that I am goal oriented and determined I will explain my
goals. I have given this a lot of thought. I can see myself getting
married in a year or two. I can do these things on my own, I just need
someone to join me. I live in [redacted] and even though I am jewish,
I go to [redaaaaacted] in [redacted], both in [redacted], about 10-20 miles north of [re-fucking-dacted]. Dorm life was not for me so I live at home by choice. However, when we needed someplace to live, if I was still in college, or before we were ready to buy a house, I would want to live in *******, ** (about 10 miles north of
the city and a bus to the city at the door). I would want to live
there for three reasons. One it is a short walk to my college, second
my family owns the building so we would not have any rent to pay, and
third, it is a great place to live. I can see myself getting married
in a year or two but I am in no rush to do so. By the time we had our
first kid I would want to be in a house of our own. Even though I am
in college I am supported by very well to do parents. Within the next
tens years I want to be married with a few kids in a house of our own.
I hope to hear from you.
*****
Submitted by K.
crazy thought
Nov. 16, 2010 – 6:31pmso crazy thought but what the hell im going to be bold and I don’t have anything to lose. What do you think about us getting together skipping the bs in the middle and just having some naked fun?
Submitted by L.